MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU
On the flip side of the Evil Ones, here is my take on the "separated at birth" or what HH character should have been cast in the Star Wars trilogy. If you have one to add, please let me know, especially ones relating to The Phantom Menace! Would love your take on it!
10/14/02
Archie as Luke Skywalker
OK,
I know what your thinking .... why do I have Archie playing the lead role.
Now bear with me people. The main reason why I have Archie playing Luke is
that his coloring closely resembles Lukes. You will see in the following
analogy why I switched the main and side kicks in this scenario. Plus both
Archie and Luke look damn fine in all white. The feathered back hair,
those blue eyes -- need I go on? Now when Star Wars first came out, I was
totally in
love with Mark Hamill. I thought he was one hot hunk of intergalactic
mass. He was so unassuming and an unknown who handled this role with
finesse and one hell of a light saber. With medication, Archie can become
that Jedi knight that we all love. Just believe in the force ...... Just
remember that we get to see Luke Skywalker sans clothes (well, he has a pair of
wide speedos on) submerged in a tank of water. Archie, get your bathing
cap and nose plug ready 'cuz we're going swimming! He had to go through
enough with Jack Simpson that Darth Vader would be a piece of cake!
Horatio as Han Solo
Now
to be able to give you my reasoning for switching our faithful Horatio and
Archie. First and foremost, the same reasoning. The coloring of
Horatio and Han go hand in hand. I would never be able to imagine Horatio
as a blonde - those brown locks are to die for! I just want to curl my
fingers around them. Second, it is Han that ends up with the girl, an even
better reason to make him the romantic lead. Harrison Ford is also one of
my favorites. Han has some
choice lines in these movies, especially when
it comes to
Chewy. My favorite is "Laugh it up fur ball!" Oops,
getting off topic here. Sorry. Both know how to take command of a
ship and at times have a fly by the seat of their pants mentality. Did
someone say pants?! As in HH, Luke and Han become friends and fight for
the same causes. So I suppose I could have made Horatio be Luke but I just
picture Archie as Luke. Simply put. Besides, both men send shivers
down my spine ...... brrrr!
Duchess of Wharfedale as Princess Leia
By default, the Duchess gets cast as
Princess Leia. All ya gotta do is take those ringlets and twist them
around into a honey bun shape and stick them over each ear! Although in the
later movies it was a braid twisted around the crown of her head. She'll
need to buck up on her stubbornness; the Princess is quite a pistol! Can you
picture her saying "Oh bugger, when are we gonna clear this asteroid
field?" Or
how about "I wouldn't know. I'm not often in the Degaba
System." Or possibly when Han and Luke save Leia from her cell and
they end up in the garbage shute she says "It stinks in here."
Seriously, I think Cherie is a great actress and considering that the original
SW movies were filmed back in the late 1970's through the mid 1980's, she would
have been a great Princess Leia. And, the best part is that she would have
ended up with Han a/k/a Horatio. Ah, a happy ending indeed!
Captain Pellew as Obi Wan Kenobi
As
you all know, Captain Pellew has been a father figure and teacher to
Horatio. The same parallel applies to Luke Skywalker and Obi
Wan. It is almost like George Lucas based that story line on C.S.
Forester's perception of the relationship between Horatio and Pellew.
Instead of a light saber, Pellew wields that pistol. And they both know
how to use their weapon of choice! As for this character analysis, it is
not based on physical appearance but rather what is contained within each of the
characters. Can you see Pellew asking Darth - "What kind of a man are
you? Huh?!" Or can you see Pellew telling Horatio to "Use
the Force" whilst Horatio is knocking people off with his power elbow
manuver. Possibly the title Jedi Knight Edward Pellew? While I would
not want to see him in those sweeping loungewear that Obi Wan wears (wanna see
those legs!), I think Pellew would look regal and certainly dreamy. Sa-lurp!
Styles as Chewbacca
We don't call him
Huggy Bear for nothing! A tall drink of dark hair and playfulness!
If only Chewy could speak, we could hear some of those classic lines from Styles
huh?! Even if Styles was in that suit, he'd ooze sexiness through all
those pores! Need I say it Dixie Chicks? This man is one hunk o'
man! A loyal
sidekick to Han that has a sweet smugness to him as he laughs when Han is
embarrassed or teased. I'd definitely sign up for long term duty on the
Millenium Falcon if Huggy Bear was on it. Probably would fly shotgun
.... No doubt! **Have to add that our Head of the Dixie Chicks
(Nashville is back!) posted on the boards about doing Styles as Chewbacca.
Do great minds think alike?! If you have not see the new Honest screen
captures on Tammy's site, please go see them. He looks awesome in them!
(see the Gilder Home Page link on the Links page).
Mathews as C3PO
The
reason why I think Mathews would make a great C3PO is that C3PO is always trying
to help Luke. I consider Mathews to be Horatio's right hand man. So
the level of allegiance is on the same level with both characters. We all
love Mathews and his wonderful belief in his superior officer. The scene
that made me think of Mathews as C3PO was the one in WW where they in the water
by the bridge and Mathews asks about how they are going to get back to the
beach, it reminded me of the analytical thinking of C3PO. What more can I
say? The man (and actor) is beheld in such high esteem by all of us (Paul,
you reading this? We love you!)
Captain Keene as Yoda
For
some reason I cannot find a picture of Captain Keene but you all know what he
looks like. I am sure you can all relate to why he would play Yoda.
Besides the separated at birth aspect, they both talk in a raspy tone and are
very elderly, although Yoda has a few hundred years on Keene! Just barely
though! And I am sure that Yoda can cough up a decent hair ball if he had
to!
Charette as Admiral Ackbar
Again, no picture of Charette (am I missing a screw or does no one have these!) Anyhow, if Ackbar had stringy hair that really needed a good deep conditioning treatment, it would be the spitting image of Charette!
MORE TO COME!
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